It's like this. I've come to hate working where I do. I'm more or less apathetic to what I'm doing, but I just cringe every time I drive to work. It's a great example of how things shouldn't operate, how not to treat people (i.e. your customers and your employees), and I guess I'm learning from it, but it really sucks. And I have so many other important things I need to be doing, things that will affect my grades and my future in major ways.
But, I need the money. Desperately. For two things. One, to pay for college. I still need several thousand dollars to be able to graduate, and I don't know if I'll be able to make it. And I really, really hate that feeling. I'm working more than I should at a job I secretly hate so that I can send my money into an oblivion that I can't make go away. And if I don't keep feeding it, it will eat me and my future.
But the longer I can ward off the great sucking sound that is tuition, the more opportunities I have in what I really love doing. It's not the school that I'm paying for. No, secretly, it's the chance to stay in Auburn, to have those opportunities, and to see what I can really do.
I would also love so much a camera. I've decided that this is very important. The only aspect of food that you can capture, keep, and distribute is its visual one. Think about it: if you're telling someone or writing or blogging about a dish, the only thing you can offer to them is a picture. You can't put a taste in their mouth, a scent in their nose, or a crunch in their ear, but you can show them what it looked like. And that's a big deal. Plus, I love photography.
Along with those two things, I'm not sure that I'll be able to get a scholarship for the Florence trip I am dying to go on, so I really need to be saving for that.
I don't want to live like this.
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